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Divorced Couple Therapists! Really?!

Written by on October 1, 2022

Divorced couple Therapists! Really?

Things aren’t always black and white. To make the right decision you’re gonna need more than just what meets the eye. Most of the stuff which happen around you are not visible to the naked eye! 80% of an iceberg is hidden in the chilling and dark depths of the ocean. Titanic was not damaged and sunk by the iceberg’s visible part was it?

To achieve success in life or business, there are several questions which need to be asked by you and only you. People, and your google search results might answer your questions but trust me when I say “finding the answers doesn’t solve your problems! Asking the right questions does. If answers were effective solutions, Google, and ChatGPT would have solved all the problems on earth, and we wouldn’t have divorced couple therapists, depressed psychotherapists, and starving people in oil rich countries would we?

For the risk of sounding like captain obvious I’m kust gonna come out and say it: “There is a meaningful correlation between the questions you ask and the answers you find”. Asking useless questions can lead to getting useless answers. useless answers are the ones which make no difference to you or your progress, success or your contribution to the society. If you are financially struggling and you spend most of your free time googling your favouite teams last years stats and comparing them with your favourite team’s this year’s stats is the last thing you need to do. If you are financially struggling or if your relationship with your partner is on the verge of coming to an end, you should spend your time learning and finding ways to fix your financial situation or how to save your relationship. Finding out a celebrities favourite icecream flavour won’t make you a successful business person or a better partner.    

Let me explain this more through an example: If you were to find the reasons why your mother feels depressed, googling questions such as: “Which websites sell anti-depressants?” won’t help you get to the root cause of the problem. If you’re fed up with your current financial situation, asking question such as: “Why me?” or why do I always end up in debt or

Imagine you are trying to find out  

 There is a meaningful etermines the quality of your life and no one will ask your questions for you because everyone else are too busy asking their own questions so they can navigate their way through their own life trying to make sense of life and its occasional complications. Life is nothing but moving from one chanllenge to the next. It’s like a computer game. You will not be able to go to the game’s next level unless you handle all of the current level’s challenges successfully and if you don’t learn how to predict or handlethe game’s challenges you’ll just get stuck in the game’s current level.

I know there’s nothing more annoying than not finding the answers you haven’t found yet. 

Now might be a good time to consider the possibility that maybe and only maybe you may have not been asking the right questions. You can find the reasons for your failures, resentment, anger, frustration, sadness, or bitterness, in the questions you’ve not asked yet. 2 of the main reasons for lack of success are lack of curiosity and lack of imagination. It would also help if you changed the way you ask your questions. It would help if you asked “what if” more often! How do you think thinking happens? Thinking is basically a series of question you constantly ask your brain and your brain tries to answer. Your brain hates not having answers because your brain’s main job is to keep you alive and safe by providing answers almost instantly so you can make the right decisions to keep yoursef alive and safe when it is necessary to do so. And when your brain can’t serve its purpose, it goes into a panic mode and tries to search through the past experiences and then it sometimes ends up making up a poorly generated solution or response created by mixing a few of your past experiences which could be relevant or irrelevant. Your brain behaves in this way to just calm you down and reduce the amount of the mental stress or trauma that you’re experiencing. This is Why when things are bad, and you’re feeling insecure, you tend to pray, think positive, pretend you don’t care, or even you may promise yourself you would avoid the situation you’re in next time. 

You need to learn how to think in more than one way to increase the probabilty of achieving the outcomes you desire. You might be wondering how on earth can I ask a question I haven’t thought about yet? The solution is to read books or listening to audio books on areas of your life which need improvement so you can achieve the outcomes you desire. One of the many good things about your brain is that it is capable of categorising and analysing any kind of raw data you expose it to through your senses. I’m sure if you read books which are worth reading to learn how to solve the problems which are worth solving, you will achieve the success you deserve achieving and remember that if you think you can’t learn how to think differently, so you can learn how to ask the right questions it’s absolutely fine because if you think you can or you can’t, guess what? You’re right!

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